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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-- Rita Rudner
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and never his prescription.
-- Finley Peter Dunne
I would fain die a dry death.
-- William Shakespeare
I would like to learn, or remember, how to live.
-- Annie Dillard
I would rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
-- Steel Magnolias
I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think "Hey, maybe I wrote that."
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-- Brian W. Kernighan
I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
I'd love to make up my mind, but I can't remember where I left it.
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.
-- Jane Siberry
I'd rather do something and fail than do nothing and succeed!
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff.
-- Tom Neff
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes. . .
-- Steven Wright
I'm not confused, I'm well mixed.
-- Robert Frost
I'm old enough to know better but I'm still to young to care.
I'm sorry, you seem to have mistaken me for someone who cares.
I'm the one who's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.
-- Jimi Hendrix
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
-- Steven Wright
I've always believed that you shouldn't want to mend a broken heart, because that's someone you don't want to forget. Scars can be good.
-- Joseph Fiennes
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