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Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
-- Tommy Cooper
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the other guy has an even better sob story.
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.
-- Elsa Maxwell
Laugh with people -- not at them.
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it!
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
Laughter is but a frown turned upside down.
Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.
Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
Laughter is the sweetest music that ever greeted the human ear.
Laughter: An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET: For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.
Laziness is a luxury that few people can afford.
Learn from the past, live for today, look for tomorrow. Take a nap this afternoon.
Learn to listen, opportunity often knocks softly.
Learn to reverence night and to put away the vulgar fear of it, for, with the banishment of night from the experience of man, there vanishes as well a religious emotion, a poetic mood, which gives depth to the adventure of humanity.
-- Henry Beston
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