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If we think of love as in itself the answer to all the problems human beings face, we will constantly be disappointed by it. If we search for perfection in a mate and refuse to be satisfied by anything less than that, we will never really experience sexual or marital love. If we are unwilling to undergo the interpersonal negotiations. . .we will never be able to give our love to anyone. Since love does not simply happen, as I have been suggesting, it must emerge as the saving remnant of our endless yearning for happy and meaningful lives.
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