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Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
At the source of every error blamed on the computer, you will find at least two errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Computers are composed of nothing more than logic gates stretched out to the horizon in a vast numerical irrigation system.
-- Stan Augarten
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-- Joseph Campbell
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
CPU: Central Propulsion Unit. The CPU is the computer's engine. It consists of a hard drive, an interface card and a tiny spinning wheel that's powered by a running rodent -- a gerbil if the machine is a 286 model, a ferret if it's a 386, and a ferret on speed if it's a 486.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
-- Brian Gollum
Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers.
-- Robert Hummel
Hardware: the parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
-- Jeff Pesis
I think there's a world market for about 5 computers.
-- Thomas J. Watson
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
-- Robert X. Cringely
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin
In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.
-- Brian K. Reid
Little wonder why computers are so popular. They represent perfection.
One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
The computer only crashes when printing a document you haven't saved.
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
-- Nathaniel Borenstein
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